Can the rough stuff on the wall.
Spray it rough, slingin’ words. Crap tough graffiti.
It’s me sprawled here. My stuff. My hustle.
Sling the crap y’all. This ain’t no conference call.
Life sucks, no shit. And you’re no prize, sweetie.
That paint’s my soul. Hands rough from slingin’ shit.
Are ya listnin’? I can scrap the words and shift to muscle.
Shit happens and guess what? I’m still here takin’ the hit.
Photo Credit: Audrey Johnson. A San San (means three three in Chinese) written for Day 14, NaPoWriMo. A San San is a seven line poem, ABCABDCD rhyme scheme with three “terms” repeated three times. Also written for dVerse Open Link Night!
lillian the home poet 
I think you combined the photo and the poem quite well, and you executed the rhyme scene in a way it was not an overbearing repetition.
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That’s always the challenge, right? To “hide” the form and have the meaning shine through. This was like writing a poetic sudoku! Glad you liked it.
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I feel that was where I failed in that I do feel mine is an overbearing repetition and I couldn’t have put it better myself so plan to try again today.
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I especially liked your second one — especially this phrase “centuries with stars overlain.” It is amazing isn’t it? To look up and think that generations before us and generations after us will be seeing this same stars?
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What you say about generations so true. That fabulous mystery that keeps past loved ones alive or even that we meet new loves when we look to the stars.
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Oh I love what you did with the graffiti… the voice of the tag-master done so well… I remember when we had graffiti it as a prompt on dVerse…
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ooooh….I’ll have to look up the graffiti prompt on dVerse. For some reason, I woke up in the middle of the night and that word popped into my head. Wrote it down….saw the NaPoWriMo prompt and even with that strict of form, the words poured. Do you think I was a rapper in a former life? 🙂
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Lovely work on the form Lillian 😀
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Thanks, Sanaa. Rough language in this one. I don’t ever talk like that much less write like that. Hope I didn’t offend you…….For me these kinds of forms really are sudoku!
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Lillian,
this is positively brilliant – you’ve captured artful rage – as is sometimes the creative passion lurking behind graffiti
am:)
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Celebrating my grand daughter’s 8th birthday this afternoon and evening — just getting home to the comments. Always love to see your response — I do value it! Especially when you say “artful” — Many many thanks!
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Well done, Lillian, on a lovely poem and mastering that form.
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Thanks! Really out of my person — as I said to someone else, maybe I was a rapper in a previous age????
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A different voice and cadence from you Lillian ~ An interesting poetry form too ~ Good luck on your writing for April ~
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Thanks, Grace! I actually do write every day — am an early riser and so I love to write and read then — with my morning coffee mug beside me! 🙂 Sometimes I use a prompt — sometimes not. And I do get prompt ideas from reading others’ poems too. Always learning! 🙂
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Fun to read…Looks like it would be fun to write, Too!
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A challenge it was! Like a poetic sudoku. Glad you liked it! 🙂
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Holy Crap! 🙂
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Now that’s a visceral response! 🙂
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Hahaha
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Oh, girl. How did you enter into the persona so effectively? Clearly, you have the stuff of which lore (read novels) is made. I think that’s the key to writing fiction…being able to become someone you aren’t.
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This was one of those where the pen just ran ahead of my brain. Have no idea where some of those words came from — not my kind of language — verbal or written. But, when it was done, it was like “did I really do that???” Anyway…so gald you liked it and hope I didn’t offend anyone with it. I’m actually kind of proud of it 🙂
So — now on to reading others’ 🙂 Glass of cold chardonnay in hand 🙂
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I agree with ZQ, that’s what I was going to write!
This is exciting and colorful and in. your. face
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So glad you liked it! Not my usual personna — my son-in-law said it sounds like a rap! 🙂
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Wonderful use of the form..so nicely done!
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Many thanks! Smiling I am.
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Yeah. This is cool. I dig.
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What a great response to this 🙂 Cool! Smiling I am.
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I think in another life you were an oyster gatherer in NOLA during the day, jazz rapper by night. Pulling up those rich salty bad boys and slurping down fresh and raw and then being full of piss and vinegar at night. I like this!
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I am laughing out loud and blushing at the same time! Wow — this one really got some interesting responses! 🙂 So glad you liked this — was afraid at first to post when it was done. So different from anything I’ve ever written – poetic license on my norm???? 🙂
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It’s great. We did persona poems a bit ago and I was Dorian Grey…it is fun to pretend. It was interesting to see the different responses to the prompt. I think now, I would be Frankenstein’s Adam.
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You captured the feeling of a street kid/gangster. Love the implied threat of shifting from paint to muscle.
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Thanks, Bryan. Yeah — somewhere this tough voice came out of me! 🙂 Quite different from today’s post. Smiling I am to see your reply this morning.
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Stirring words Lillian! What I find amazing is, it’s nothing like your personality which is what good poetry is all about! Thank you again for all your kind words and have a nice weekend!
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Smiling I am….it’s bright and sunny here!
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“I can scrap the words and shift to muscle” and “It’s me sprawled here” I love this phrase- a street “fighter” through his art/writing who has endured.
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So glad you like it. And yes….that was the personna my voice turned into…how, I really do not know. Sometimes strange things happen when one picks up the pen! 🙂
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Rhythm of rapping in there – a great attempt at a ‘street’ voice, but with better vocabulary!
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Sometimes it’s fun to take on a different personna — like playing dress-up! 🙂
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I used to like to do graffiti. There’s a line from a song called “Out for Fame” by KRS-One that I like a lot: “I’m writing my name in graffiti on the wall…”
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Glad you liked this one! Happy I am.
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