The Request

Sweet darling, accompany me I pray.
Our hearts and souls aligned, yet still we spar.
I promise to lead thee nowhere astray.

Your eyes whisper words, seem softly to say
whither we goest? And the door’s left ajar.
Sweet darling, accompany me I pray.

As the moonlight glistens, gifts our soiree,
I shall protect thee as a fragile star.
I promise to lead thee nowhere astray.

Your scent my dear, an enticing bouquet
beguiles my mind, my loins, I lust too far.
Sweet darling, accompany me I pray.

To kiss, to hold. How this resolve doth sway,
struggles to recall who and what we are.
I promise to lead thee, nowhere astray.

Do think of me as in Romeo’s day,
’tis painful unrequited love to bar.
Sweet darling, accompany me I pray.
I promise to lead thee nowhere astray.

A_breeze_in_the_curtains

It’s Thursday at dVerse and Frank asks us to write a Villanell, a 19 line poem: 5 tercets followed by 1 quatrain. Within the first tercet, the key lines are 1 and 3. They’re repeated in a prescribed order.  Also, the rhyme scheme is quite strict: only an “a” (IE pray, astray, say, soiree etc) and “b” (IE spar, ajar, star, far, etc).  So it should look like this:
1a, 2b, 3a (numbers = lines; a and b = rhyme scheme)
4a, 5b, 1a (line 1 repeated)
6a, 7b, 3a (line 3 repeated)
8a, 9b, 1a (line 1 repeated)
10a, 11b, 3a (line 3 repeated)
and finally the quatrain:
12a, 13b, 1a again, 3a again
It’s a poetic sudoku!!   Frank does indicate that we do not have to follow iambic pentameter — thank goodness! 🙂  The challenge is to have some kind of meaningful flow and sense to the piece. Needless to say, I find this extremely difficult….but at dVerse, I’m always willing to give it a shot 🙂
Pub opens at 3 PM.  Stop by and see what others have done with this unique form!

41 thoughts on “The Request

  1. mandibelle16 June 22, 2017 / 4:25 pm

    Really lovely. The repetition line worked really well, highlighted his yearning and his desires.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 22, 2017 / 4:29 pm

      Thank you! Really appreciate your reply. I struggled with this one!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. frankhubeny June 22, 2017 / 4:38 pm

    I find villanelles difficult. The message or theme of yours about not leading a loved one astray is very nice and it sounds nice with the four accents per line.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 8:57 am

      Thank you, Jilly. We had a busy weekend…just catching up! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed this one. I find these kinds of forms really really challenging!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) June 22, 2017 / 4:55 pm

    Love this… it’s giving that yearning so well… there is that element that a villanelle lends itself to… maybe it’s the repetition, giving it a sign of desperation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 8:58 am

      Yes, this chap is really struggling to remain gentlemanly!

      Like

  4. Adda June 22, 2017 / 5:31 pm

    Wow! I certainly did not know poetry could be so complicated. Very well done! I love the repeated lines, they are so lovely. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 8:59 am

      Thanks, Adda. dVerse really comes up with some challenging forms. Most I’ve never heard of either! 🙂

      Like

  5. Walter J. Wojtanik June 22, 2017 / 5:39 pm

    This poem is like an heirloom, passed from generation to generation. You used the form to great effecting there is such a gentility to it, Lillian. Love this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:00 am

      Thank you so much, Walter. Kind words you’ve given here. Truly appreciated!

      Like

  6. Grace June 22, 2017 / 6:35 pm

    Love the gentle plea specially with these lines:

    Sweet darling, accompany me I pray.
    I promise to lead thee nowhere astray.

    Admiring your poetic lines here:

    As the moonlight glistens, gifts our soiree,
    I shall protect thee as a fragile star.

    I agree, this form was very challenging !!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:01 am

      Ah…dVerse….I do learn a lot here 🙂

      Like

  7. Bev June 22, 2017 / 7:16 pm

    A beautifully drawn villanelle, Lillian. Surely now your love is convinced you won’t lead him astray!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:01 am

      Challenging to write, that’s for sure! Glad you enjoyed.

      Like

  8. Gay Reiser Cannon June 22, 2017 / 8:14 pm

    I love the medieval metier for a lusty love song. Very effective use of the form, and very lyrical in its presentation. I couldn’t look away!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:01 am

      Ah, thank you Gay! Your words are truly appreciated here.

      Like

  9. Glenn Buttkus June 22, 2017 / 9:32 pm

    Twas medieval & classic in feel & looks–which you accomplish superbly; managing to make being in lust a classy wrestling match. You rocked the prompt & kicked up the sensuality & romantic timbre. Bjorn does this a lot, but it seems beyond my personal grasp.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:02 am

      Ah…lust in a gentleman….the times were quite different then! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed. Busy weekend so just now catching up!

      Like

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:03 am

      Thank you! So glad you enjoyed 🙂

      Like

  10. Sumana Roy June 23, 2017 / 5:03 am

    I love the tenderness and deep longing here…and also the contrast between, lusting too far and the promise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:04 am

      Ah yes….tempering his actions with his promise….and trying so hard to stay within his words. A true gentleman…

      Like

  11. Jane Dougherty June 23, 2017 / 9:35 am

    And it’s a good shot 🙂 I was half-expecting a denouement rather like My Last Duchess, which is what your poem made me think of.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:05 am

      I learn a lot at dVerse…..:) Challenges and then friendly critics. A very good combination!

      Like

      • Jane Dougherty June 26, 2017 / 9:27 am

        The criticism is more what I’d call encouragement. I’m certainly not confident enough to be able to cope with close analysis 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:29 am

        And that’s why I love it! 🙂 Exactly 🙂

        Like

  12. colorfulpen June 23, 2017 / 11:42 pm

    Nice villanelle, Lillian. Love the photo, too. Like your words, it’s soft and gentle, blowing in on a fragrant breeze.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:06 am

      Thank you. Yes, your words are exactly why I chose this photo over others. So glad you enjoyed!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Laura Bloomsbury June 24, 2017 / 4:35 pm

    Love song of a gentleman – so original Lilian and could not help but follow with that opening line

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:06 am

      Thank you, Laua. Chivalry in his words 🙂

      Like

  14. Rosemary Nissen-Wade June 24, 2017 / 10:04 pm

    Beautiful – and beautifully realised.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:08 am

      So glad you enjoyed, Rosemary. Tough challenge…took a long time writing this one. 🙂

      Like

    • lillian June 26, 2017 / 9:07 am

      So glad you enjoyed! NIce to see you here 🙂

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s