Detour

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” Heraclitus

Some years back we found ourselves near the town I grew up in – Waukegan, Illinois. I’d not been there in decades. We decided to take a detour in our planned trip and drive by some of my old haunts.

Sadly, the house I lived in for my first nine years was in a state of disrepair. Rickety porch steps, missing shingles. My mother’s beloved lilac bushes were no more. The downtown where I’d “scooped the loop” in the front seat of an old Chevy was barely recognizable. Not one store name was the same. Most jarring was my walk through the Catholic church I grew up in. How could it be so small? I remembered lighting candles inside a hushed space – a side grotto/cavern made of dark rock. There I stood, inside the grotto, looking at battery operated candles and grey plastic simulated stone walls. After lighting a candle and saying a small prayer for my mother, I decided to end our nostalgic tour. I wanted to keep the rest of my memories intact.

stream rushes surely
rocks tumble and change their shape
nothing stays as is


Frank is hosting Haibun Monday at dVerse, the virtual pub for poets around the globe. His prompt for today is to “imbue our haibun with mono no aware. Write on any topic that you like as long as your haibun embodies that wistful sadness marking the beauty of transience.” A haibun combines prose and a haiku. Image is a photo I took some years back on one of our vacations.

22 thoughts on “Detour

  1. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)'s avatar Björn Rudberg (brudberg) May 20, 2024 / 3:09 pm

    Those memories… sometimes it is not what we thought, and sometimes things just change. Love the haiku…

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    • lillian's avatar lillian May 20, 2024 / 3:16 pm

      Glad you enjoyed, Bjorn. Hope your trip to the US went well…..so wish we lived closer to where you were or that you had time to come to Boston as well! We would gladly reciprocate the wonderful hospitality you showed us in Stockholm!

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      • Björn Rudberg (brudberg)'s avatar Björn Rudberg (brudberg) May 20, 2024 / 3:18 pm

        It was Texas, and Lotta had to get back to work — too much happening for her, but now we have experienced Texas… and a graduation.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli May 20, 2024 / 3:24 pm

    Lillian, too often revisiting those places are a bittersweet experience. You captured it well in your poem.

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    • lillian's avatar lillian May 20, 2024 / 4:13 pm

      I so agree. There were a few things we saw that were fun and happy to see….but to see the house in such disrepair….that was sad.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Melissa Lemay's avatar Melissa Lemay May 20, 2024 / 3:52 pm

    Sometimes it is hard to see how things change. When I drive through the main roads and see all the new developments, where before there were open fields, it feels nostalgic, a little sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. marialberg's avatar marialberg May 20, 2024 / 5:10 pm

    I really enjoyed the specific details in your prose. That visit sounds jarring, like not seeing a child for a while, and they’re suddenly an adult. Those large changes that are inevitable and yet so surprising.

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  5. rothpoetry's avatar rothpoetry May 20, 2024 / 5:11 pm

    A most interesting Haibun, Lillian. I can emphasize with going back home again. The old house in disrepair, the town changes, but then again what did we expect! The memories will always be most dear! Time to write your memoir!

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  6. crazy4yarn2's avatar crazy4yarn2 May 20, 2024 / 5:26 pm

    I’m sorry you found your town changed for the worse. I hope the rest of your trip was better.

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  7. Frank J. Tassone's avatar Frank J. Tassone May 20, 2024 / 7:57 pm

    I remember the first place I saw from childhood as an adult. I, too, was amazed at how small it was. Your evocative haibun portrays that sense of things passing away so vividly!

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  8. Rob Kistner's avatar Rob Kistner May 20, 2024 / 10:31 pm

    Beautiful photo Lil. Wonderful verse. Yes, it’s true my friend. One can never go back, and one must be prepared to be surprised — not always in a good way. The past is usually sweetest in memory — which is why memory is so very precious, and the loss of it so very sad. 🙂✌🏼🫶🏼

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  9. pandamoniumcat's avatar pandamoniumcat May 21, 2024 / 1:14 am

    You bring forth the transience of things so well in your haibun. It’s a shame nothing stays the same and going back can disappoint.

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  10. kim881's avatar kim881 May 21, 2024 / 2:59 am

    Detours are unpredictable Lill, especially if you’re going back to the past. The Heraclitus quote is perfect for the prompt, as is your haibun. I enjoyed all the descriptive details, even though nothing is as you remembered it, and I love the haiku.

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  11. Yvonne Osborne's avatar Yvonne Osborne May 21, 2024 / 9:58 am

    Your post proves we can never go back. Best to keep our memories intact. ( Egads! battery operated candles?) Love your haiku. Very much, well done.

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  12. lynn__'s avatar lynn__ May 21, 2024 / 4:54 pm

    Your heartfelt haibun makes us all sadly nostalgic over changes in childhood’s favorite places…affectively conveyed, Lilllian.

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  13. SelmaMartin's avatar SelmaMartin May 22, 2024 / 10:02 pm

    I think it’s just as well that places change. Others living there are changing things to their liking now. But the memories you created there once upon a time, never will change. How beautiful is that! And “the others” will never know what you know. Life is gorgeous.
    I love your haibun. So full. Thanks for sharing.

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  14. Dora's avatar dorahak May 22, 2024 / 10:44 pm

    I remember returning to places familiar in my youth and as surprised at the changes as you were. I had to look up what “scoop the loop” meant and a site said it was a small town “ritual” which made me laugh out loud! Ritual indeed! Wonderful haibun, Lillian.

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  15. Cris's avatar Cris May 23, 2024 / 1:19 pm

    I’ve found that memories are almost always better than what we revisit. This is sad and wistful and reminds me to look at things through today’s eyes, not yesterday’s.

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  16. pvcann's avatar pvcann May 27, 2024 / 2:53 am

    Memory I’ve learned is, well in my case, more subjective than I’d credit. And going back is so hard sometimes.

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