Sporting a Gibson girl hairstyle,
always the first to beguile.
She artfully arched her eyebrows,
never intended for marriage vows.
Expelled from finishing school
because she’d broken many a rule.
Back at home with daddy dear,
all his money was temptingly near.
She arose very early that particular day,
absolutely not allowing any kind of delay.
Murder weighed heavily on her crafty mind,
the perfect crime, she’d cleverly designed.
Poison added to daddy’s cornflakes,
doused all over his yummy pancakes.
And wouldn’t you know, one glorious week later
she was named the estate’s sole curator.
Grinning, she thought, no need for a suitor,
and there’s no one that would possibly suit her.
Now she’s contentedly ensconced, happily rich,
fully independent and a liberated bitch.
Written for Day 10 of NaPoWriMo. Also using at OLN Thursday at dVerse.
I had so much fun with this one!
The challenge today was to “write a poem based on one of the curious headlines, cartoons, and other journalistic tidbits featured at Yesterday’s Print, where old new stays amusing, curious, and sometimes downright confusing.” The image above is from The Buffalo Times, New York, June 12, 1910. I think it might be an ad for breakfast cereal?
lillian the home poet 
Naughty, naughty girl. I guess sometimes crime does pay!
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Indeed!
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Ouch.. that was disturbing and fun. I find it especially funny given that corn flakes especially given Mr Kellog’s belief about what’s good with corn-flakes.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3185011/What-Corn-Flakes-masturbation-common-Mr-Kellogg-believed-sexual-desires-caused-disease-invented-plain-cereal-stop-self-pleasuring.html
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Amazing article. Mr. Kellogg did indeed lead a unique life. But, just looked this up: snopes.com debunked it.
What’s True: “the creation of corn flakes was part of J.H. Kellogg’s broader advocacy for a plain, bland diet. Without referring to corn flakes in particular, Kellogg elsewhere recommended a plain, bland diet as one of several methods to discourage masturbation. What’s False: “According to the available evidence, corn flakes were primarily created as an easy-to-digest, pre-prepared and healthy breakfast food, in particular for patients at the Kellogg sanitarium in Michigan. The product was never advertised as an “anti-masturbatory morning meal.”
In any case….I sure had no idea this controversy existed when I wrote the poem! I was just having fun with the image.
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There were a lot of weird reform movements in the 19th century.
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I’m glad you had fun with the prompt and writing the poem, Lill. It was quite tricky to find a news headline or cartoon to inspire a cartoon. I love the rhyming couplets and the phrase ‘artfully arched her eyebrows’. I’m surprised she got away with it.
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You do know I made the whole story up, right? I just loved the drawing and caption!
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I do! I love the character and story you created. She did seem real, and I’m sure there were a few poisoners like her back in the day.
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This is marvelous Lil! 👍🏼 You are one bad bitch yourself my friend… 🙂✌🏼🫶🏼
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Ah Rob, you made me laugh out loud! Hoping to see you at Saturday LIVE! :) Come in your bathrobe if needed – we miss you!
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Goodness me, that took a dark turn early on! An entertaining write, Lillian 🙂
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Glad you enjoyed. I did try to make it dark humor…not all murderously dark. 🙂
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It was just the right amount of dark, Lillian! 🙂
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I absolutely love this! 🩷🩷 Especially; “Poison added to daddy’s cornflakes, doused all over his yummy pancakes.” I also liked the background of J.H. Kellogg’s story 😀
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Great stuff, Lilian, enjoyed the rhyming…could be the next Netflix series!
JIM
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Very good, Lillian. What a conniving daughter. Gives a whole new meaning to “Frosted Flakes”.
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I didn’t expect that. Such a villain from a fun write.
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You found that it was also an ad for murder! I love this arch and clever poem.
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Hahaha – that’s the look! Great write! What fun.
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Next best thing to being a villain – thoroughly imagining one Lillian…
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Wondering if your Gibson Girl knew my Gordy!!??! A great poem, love the humour, Lillian. See you tomorrow.
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Oooh! Diabolical designs! Love it, Lill! I can imagine how much fun you had writing this.
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What a fun crime story forged into a lovely poem!
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This is great. I would not have got this poetic story from that one liner 🩵
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The woman in the advertisement does look like she’s up to no good. I like where you went with this. 🙂 I thought at first the poem was maybe going to be about Lizzie Borden.
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Lillian, these are the kinds of women who men used to put in asylums as “troublesome” (with some jacked up diagnosis in the paperwork.) Sounds like she deserved prison, but for once the female prevails. Yes! (only half joking)
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This is amazing!
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