Exit, Stage Left

She needed to breathe; to relax and just let go.

Five years. Enough. Audition after audition. Waiting tables at Marco’s for lousy tips with far too many sleazy propositions. Moist hands reaching for her. Patriarchal, inebriated, entitled pats on her behind. Then home to a seven-story walk-up studio shared with two roommates. Also acting wannabes. She’d tried. Oh god how she’d tried. But zero call backs and enough Ramen noodle suppers to last a lifetime.

She sat slumped in her Greyhound seat during the city’s never-ending rush hour, traffic holding its breath. Sky a tense diaphragm with black billowing threatening clouds. Of course she’s leaving during a severe weather alert! Thunder and lightning? Bring it on. Not exactly a substitute for booming applause. But she’ll take it. Just let it rain like hell!

She closed her eyes to let the Xanax do its job.

Written for Prosery Monday at dVerse, the virtual pub for poets around the globe. Today Kim introduces us to the poem Twice Shy by Seamus Heaney. She asks us to include its line Traffic holding its breath, sky a tense diaphragm in our piece of prose (flash fiction) of 144 words or less, sans title. We must include it word for word; only the punctuation may be changed.

Exit, Stage Left is 144 words. Image by David Mark from Pixabay

22 thoughts on “Exit, Stage Left

    • lillian's avatar lillian August 14, 2023 / 5:12 pm

      Yeah….I was a little surprised when my pen used that word….but it sure makes her life miserable while she’s trying to get her big break.

      Like

  1. kim881's avatar kim881 August 14, 2023 / 3:17 pm

    That’s the one side of entertainment I couldn’t have coped with: those ‘lousy tips’, ‘sleazy propositions’ and ‘moist hands’ patting my behind! The thought makes me shudder. I also like the deft handling of the prompt line, LIll. Thank goodness for Xanax!

    Like

    • lillian's avatar lillian August 14, 2023 / 5:13 pm

      Always so interesting to see the diverse stories that come out of the same line. My pen just went here….

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli August 14, 2023 / 3:54 pm

    Such vivid description of the indignities wait staff have to put up with on a regular basis. If even she had gotten one call back it might have kept her on the path of her dream. I wonder where the bus is taking her. Good story, Lillian.

    Like

    • lillian's avatar lillian August 14, 2023 / 5:14 pm

      Glad you enjoyed. Yes….I think she’s just trying to find a place that will let her breathe and savor time and life without cruelty.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Miriam E.'s avatar Miriam E. August 14, 2023 / 4:24 pm

    A very interesting take on the prompt. Love the strong images and the strong emotions displayed… it gathers speed, like the brewing storm, as you read on. Wonderfully written!

    Like

  4. Nancy Jahnke's avatar Nancy Jahnke August 14, 2023 / 4:34 pm

    ❤️

    Sent from my iPhone

    <

    div dir=”ltr”>

    <

    blockquote type=”cite”>

    Like

  5. rothpoetry's avatar rothpoetry August 14, 2023 / 5:11 pm

    A wonderful story Lillian! I like the thunderous applause of the weather!

    Like

    • lillian's avatar lillian August 14, 2023 / 5:16 pm

      Yes….I smiled when my pen wrote that comparison. She at least gets the thunderous applause as she’s leaving tinseltown.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Gillena Cox's avatar Gillena Cox August 14, 2023 / 5:41 pm

    Wow! Nice one.
    Happy Monday.

    Much💖love

    Like

  7. poetisatinta's avatar poetisatinta August 14, 2023 / 7:35 pm

    Such a great take on the prompt Lillian, with vivid imagery and the lines just fitted in perfectly 🙌

    Like

  8. Jim's avatar Jim August 14, 2023 / 7:38 pm

    A sad scene played hundreds of those times. I’ve been there, sort of, and dated anticipating ladies in shoes similar this. Sad,
    ..

    Like

  9. Ginny Brannan's avatar Ginny Brannan August 14, 2023 / 8:31 pm

    A great take. It paints a pretty bleak picture of trying to “make it,” and the “rabbit holes” one uses to try to escape it all.

    Like

  10. Katie Frances Hartless's avatar K.F. Hartless August 14, 2023 / 8:56 pm

    Wonderful thunderous applause for this flash. I really enjoyed it.

    Like

  11. Melissa Lemay's avatar Melissa Lemay August 14, 2023 / 11:28 pm

    Anything’s better than Ramen noodles!🤣 Good luck to her!

    Like

  12. Carol's avatar Carol August 15, 2023 / 12:02 am

    A great write Lillian!

    Like

  13. hdwoonie23's avatar Helen August 15, 2023 / 11:33 am

    A most intriguing story you brought to life, I can feel her angst + the drug kicking in.

    Like

Leave a comment