Disappointment

Holding kite, excited to run
grinning in sun.
Wind picks up speed
flight guaranteed.

Running down field, kite takes to air
eyes glaze in glare.
Excited screams,
Better than dreams!

String tugs, yanks and breaks. Kite floats free
stilling her glee.
Kite disappears
brings on the tears.

Written for Meet the Bar Thursday at dVerse, the virtual pub for poets. Today, Grace asks us to “explore an invented poetry form – The Minute Poem. It’s a 60 syllable verse form, one syllable for each second in a minute. The theme must be an event that is over and done completely, as in a minute. Since the dominant line is short, the effect is likely humorous, whimsical or semi-serious. It was created by Verna Lee Hinnegardner, once poet laureate of Arkansas.”

For me, it’s another “sudoku” poem! That is, a complex form that challenges me. Here’s the elements we must adhere to:
* It must be narrative poetry: tell a story.
* It is a 12 line poem made up of 3 quatrains (3 four-line stanzas)
* Syllabic form is 8-4-4-4, 8-4-4-4, 8-4-4-4 (8 syllables in the first line of each stanza; 4 in the second, thrid and fourth line of each stanza.

* It must have the rhyme scheme of aabb, ccdd, eeff
* It should be a description of a finished event (preferably something done in 60 seconds).

PHOTO: taken in Bermuda about 7 years ago when we went to their Good Friday kite festival.

25 thoughts on “Disappointment

  1. Grace January 27, 2022 / 2:49 pm

    How sad that the kite floated free. Good work on the poetry form. And I love the photo Lillian.

    Like

  2. sanaarizvi January 27, 2022 / 3:18 pm

    This is so evocative! The disappearing of the kite speaks volumes here, Lillian. Perhaps there is something better waiting around the corner. 💝💝

    Like

  3. calmkate January 27, 2022 / 4:31 pm

    as a keen kite flyer this resonates … never lost one yet but it would bring on tears!
    A romping fun write thanks Lillian

    Like

  4. Ain January 27, 2022 / 4:37 pm

    These can be almost lifetime traumas….I feel for that young girl…

    Like

  5. Ron. January 27, 2022 / 4:39 pm

    Perfectly capture & this seems like the perfect form for the tale. Thanks.

    Like

  6. Bodhirose January 27, 2022 / 5:07 pm

    Oh poor little girl! Your words tell the feelings so well, Lillian. I remember kite flying when I was a little girl. It was so much fun to see them way, way up there!

    Like

  7. Gillena Cox January 27, 2022 / 5:28 pm

    OMG a tear jerker, this one

    Much love…

    Like

  8. anotherkatewilson January 27, 2022 / 6:15 pm

    Oh that’s so lovely! Even the sad ending – devastating as a child, but something we can smile at as an adult.

    Like

  9. Helen Dehner January 27, 2022 / 6:57 pm

    Kites, springtime, wind, breeze, kids laughter … what’s not to love? Well, perhaps the tears … which no doubt you will gently wipe.

    Like

  10. Rob Kistner January 27, 2022 / 7:22 pm

    So sad for that disappointed little girl. Wonderful write Lillian… 🙂👍🏼✌🏼❤️

    Like

  11. Carol Congalton January 27, 2022 / 7:59 pm

    A great narrative of a part of childhood some of us have experienced.

    Like

  12. lynn__ January 27, 2022 / 9:26 pm

    Like dreams, kites sometimes soar, sometimes crash. You flew the form effortlessly, Lillian!

    Like

  13. kaykuala January 27, 2022 / 10:21 pm

    Every good things must end somehow! A lesson in loving (to do something), Lillian!

    Hank

    Like

  14. Quaranjavirus January 28, 2022 / 3:52 am

    I never flew a kite in my childhood,but reading your poem,it sure sounds like a great activity! 🙂

    Like

  15. writingwhatnots January 28, 2022 / 4:15 am

    Love how you have captured both the exhilaration and disappointment in a minute poem. ❤

    Like

  16. Raivenne January 28, 2022 / 9:09 am

    Awww I sincerely felt the elation and the disappointment in this. You worked the form so well.

    Like

  17. paeansunplugged January 28, 2022 / 2:05 pm

    Oh, this brought back bittersweet memories of childhood! Losing a kite was so disappointing.

    Like

  18. msjadeli January 28, 2022 / 4:06 pm

    Poor little girl, hoping she’ll remember the fun before the string snapped.

    Like

  19. Liesl Garner January 29, 2022 / 9:36 am

    Wonderful imagery and storytelling in such a short space. I was totally there in the moment, and disappointed when my kite broke free!

    Like

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