Before you were born . . .

I dreamed of holding stardust in my hands.
Wondering who you were inside of me,
moving softly as my belly expands.
Some being, ethereal? Feathery?
Then you abruptly kicked. Staggeringly.

Doubts, questions, fears, realities unfurled.
How to protect you enough in this world?
Then you, pushing. Pushing until you’re through.
Angry. Squalling. Blotched face. Legs fetal curled.
But once in my arms, my stardust I knew.

Today Frank is hosting dVerse, the virtual pub for poets. We continue to explore the Dizain — a particular form of poetry that includes 10 lines, each with 10 syllables, and a rhyme scheme of ababbccdcd.  There is to be a “turn” in the poem after line 5.  For me, as always with forms, and in particular forms with a set rhyme scheme, it is a struggle to have the meaning of the poem come through without calling attention to the form.  Although folks at dVerse have been working with the Dizain for a bit, this is my first attempt. Pub opens at 3 PM Boston time. Come try your hand at a Dizain! Photo is from pixabay.com  

23 thoughts on “Before you were born . . .

  1. Frank Hubeny August 1, 2019 / 4:17 pm

    Very nice description. I like the thought of knowing one’s stardust at the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Glenn A. Buttkus August 1, 2019 / 5:03 pm

    Excellent job, Lil; your poetic message was so sweet and well written, the form faded before the word-smithing. You have a nice rhyme scheme, no sing-song to it. Like you I let my story propel the reader, using enjambment to link lines.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. msjadeli August 1, 2019 / 5:37 pm

    They don’t call it a miracle of birth for nothing. Good first try on dizain, Lillian.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian August 3, 2019 / 10:34 am

      Thank you, Rob. Totally new form for me. Will get to reading others tomorrow…as old-time friends we haven’t seen in almost 20 years visit today!

      Like

  4. Grace August 1, 2019 / 9:48 pm

    The miracle of birth and the dawning of motherhood. Admiring the poetic form as well with energy and emotional turbulence of giving birth. That last line was outstanding.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian August 3, 2019 / 10:35 am

      Thank you, Grace. Will get to reading others’ posts tomorrow….as old time friends we haven’t seen in 20 years visit today!

      Like

  5. kim881 August 2, 2019 / 3:29 am

    I love the way your dizain starts with a dream and ends with reality, Lill, and that special pinch of stardust. I remember that ethereal, feathery feeling of the little astronaut floating in my belly – and the first kick inside. I can’t remember my first sight of Ellen – I was so exhausted, and they took her away. I still want to protect her!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian August 3, 2019 / 10:41 am

      Ah….you understood exactly! 🙂 ❤
      Abbey was our firstborn…and there was actually a mirror set up so we could see the birth. VERY first thing that happened, a creamy-covered little hand popped out and waved, before her head! Both my husband and I said at the same time, "Stop the world, I want to get off!" That's a line by Littlechap in the musical Stop the World: I Want to Get Off. It was a moment we'll never forget!
      Our son on the other hand, came so fast we had not time for anything — barely made it into delivery room. That birth I remember feeling as if my hips were sinking into 300 feather pillows at the moment he birthed. He was a much bigger baby than Abbey!
      Ah the memories……and the love continues even when they are in their 40s! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Rosemary Nissen-Wade August 2, 2019 / 8:03 am

    It’s a stunning first attempt, and you have absolutely succeeded in both executing the form perfectly and having the meaning transcend the form.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian August 3, 2019 / 10:42 am

      Oh your comment is so appreciated, Rosemary! Thank you so ver much for this kind kind comment.

      Like

  7. sdtp33 August 2, 2019 / 4:16 pm

    Well done, Lilian. The form is there but doesn’t intrude…a beautiful poem… I just realised, child birth is a relatively uncommon subject for a poem..enjoyed this..JIM

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian August 3, 2019 / 10:44 am

      Thank you so much, Jim. hmmmm you may be right…don’t think I’ve read any poems on this subject….but how can that be? My guess is, I’ve just not seen them. Glad you enjoyed this one.

      Like

  8. navasolanature August 4, 2019 / 6:37 pm

    This is so beautiful and moving. Brought tears to my eyes. I love the way the expectation turns to reality, all blotched and bawling but yes, still stardust.

    Like

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