Little Orangey Raiding Hood
cocky and bullish too
spit on our lady’s torch,
shorting out her light.
Bellicose as Old King Cole
merry in his big white house
decorated by special order,
he stuccoed it with lye.
Kitchen menu his design,
donkey stew cooked on high,
boiling for a long reduction
still kickin’ in the pot.
Uneasy with house chairs,
too soft, none just right.
No match to for his needs,
only gilded throne will do.
Upstairs to try the beds
too short, too long.
Ah just right, finally to sleep.
Bird twitter starts at dawn.
Fitful dreams of Miss Tuffet
savoring curds and whey.
Spiders crawl out from covers,
itsy bitsy never more.
Awakened by Fox and hounds
he calls for cavorters three.
Get my breakfast pie
and put that crown upon my head!
Then, oh so gleefully,
in goes his royal thumb
ready for a veritable plum.
YEEEEOW!
Inside that massive flakey crust
five and twenty blackbirds
baked in a bordered row.
Oh no! He’ll have to eat crow!
And now this silly poem must stop
although the tale itself does not.
Guess its ending from sounds you hear
louder, louder, more and more
that huffing puffing at his door.
Written for dVerse, the virtual pub for poets where I’m hosting Tuesday Poetics, asking folks to write a poem, serious or humorous, that somehow deals with opposites or antithesis. Folks can include simple opposite words such as light/dark, good/bad in the poem; look at one event from two opposite view points; or take a nursery rhyme and write it in an opposite way — instead of There was an old woman who lived in a shoe – make it a man! In this post, I’ve satirically dealt with a number of different nursery rhymes, changing their meaning completely. For a more serious take on the prompt, go to my poem Hovering In Absentia.
lillian the home poet 
Ha love all the mixed nursery rhymes and fairtales.. I know a bed just right for me
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🙂 Glad you got a chuckle out of it! Fun to do 🙂
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This was such fun to read!
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Always always happy to provide smiles 🙂
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But the little Red Hen kicked his ugly mistress out of the restaurant, yes she did!
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Oh you hit it on the head here, Toni. But, was not happy with the Little Red Hen – even though I so disagree with that individual in so many ways. Don’t think that action helped anyone….certainly not little chicks, siglets, ducklings etc who look to their parents and adults for examples.
May we ALL strive for civility and not sink to our lowest common denominator…..I am struck by Michelle Obama’s thoughtful response: “when they go low, we go higher.” Would that EVERYONE could live with those words. Mud wrestling is not a pretty sport to watch….no matter whose side you are on. Was it Aretha Franklin who sang the song R-E-S-P-E-C-T? Where is that today?
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I am still glad they did. Why should she eat in peace when children are in warehouses wrapped in foil? As much as I loved the obamas, sometimes I wish they would unwimp it a bit.
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I think I would enjoy a bit of mud wrestle just now! Loved your post!
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So glad you enjoyed! 🙂
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This is hilarious Lillian ~ Never thought of a mishmash of nursery stories ~
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Glad you enjoyed. I thought of the title first…..and then they just started rolling! 🙂 Always fun to add a little satire and humor to one’s day! 🙂
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I liked the sound and the thought of that huffing at the door in the last stanza. This line stood out for me: “still kickin’ in the pot” and the king eating crow.
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Glad you enjoyed, Frank. It was a fun one to write…just sort of jumbled out!
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Quite a send off for Ole Kingy, lol. He called for his pipe, slippers and lots of jesters too
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Oh yes he did / does!
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I think he calls collect
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I hope he likes the meal!!
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Hah —- eating crow can be a hard pie to swallow!
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Delightful! I hope they huff and puff and blow the door down!
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Ah….the wish of many!
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kaykuala
Bellicose as Old King Cole
merry in his big White House
Fantastic satire Lillian. It makes it all the more spectacular when tagged to the Nursery Rhymes and even better when it relates to the White House. He is still bellicose but less of a twitter guy now!
Hank
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Thanks, Hank. So glad you enjoyed….like the dish, my pen just kind of ran away with the spoon here! 🙂
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Love this!! that spider, itsy bitsy no more. You sent me right back to childhood. Nice Lillian.
Pat
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Glad you enjoyed, Pat. The pen just kept rolling as more and more nursery rhymes came to mind….I had a hard time deciding between three men in a tub and the fiddlers three reference 🙂
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It all turned out well😊
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What fun, your poem!!!
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So glad you enjoyed, Anell! I tried to comment on your Days of Feast and Famine (I enjoyed it so much) but couldn’t find a place to be the first commenter so instead, put my comment for it on the post the day before. Using the difference in the setting of a table is such a good way to picture the passage of time!
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What Sweet Quanderies. 😎🥀
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