Big City Haibun

She returned to her new home, a big city after Iowa. Good day at new job, alone with glass of wine in hand, the familiar chair feels comfortable. Staring at unpacked boxes, lacking energy, two unfamiliar items come into view. Walking closer, she eyes them more intently.

Two dirty, half coiled, frayed bungee cords sit atop an unopened box. Bungee cords? Metal steel curved hooks on dirty elastic cords. Quietly she hurried out the door.

partridge returns to nest
canine impressions mar one egg
nervous feathers flair

Haibun written for dVerse, the virtual pub for poets where today we’re asked to write about an emotion without naming it — evoking it by the use of objects and imagery.  Haibun: prose that cannot be fiction, followed by a haiku. The prose describes what happened, before my husband joined me in Boston, on my second or third day in our new condo.  We moved here from Iowa. Turns out, some workers had entered our unit, without permission, to do some work….and realized they were in the wrong unit. I got security to do a thorough walk-through with me and then found out what happened. Needless to say, I received many apologies from management and I’m happy to say, we’ve lived safely and happily ever since. 

23 thoughts on “Big City Haibun

  1. rivrvlogr February 27, 2018 / 1:22 pm

    Oooh! That creepy feeling when something is out of place, or just doesn’t belong.


  2. alisonhankinson February 27, 2018 / 2:22 pm

    I would have hurried away too. We were burgled a few years ago and the muddy footprints, broken glass and trashed cupboards and the sense of panic were horrific. Not nice when we first realise something is amiss and that feeling rises up. XXXX


  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) February 27, 2018 / 3:06 pm

    What an uneasy feeling that must be… knowing for sure that someone have been (or is) there… creepy


  4. kanzensakura February 27, 2018 / 3:43 pm

    I loved the haiku. That is an unsettling feeling when one realizes ones space has been invaded.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Blue M. February 27, 2018 / 3:47 pm

    Really? We use those things ALL THE TIME. If you’re creative, they come in really handy. For example, we used to hook together the handles on the cabinet doors to keep our youngest from climbing inside (and dragging everything out onto the floor). 😛

    But I could see how they could seem a little alarming to someone who isn’t used to using them. 🙂


  6. Blue M. February 27, 2018 / 3:48 pm

    I was misunderstanding. I was picturing her husband/boyfriend having stayed behind … you had me thinking they were his and she was suddenly alarmed. The comments let me know the speaker had been burgled.


  7. ZurkPoetry February 27, 2018 / 3:57 pm

    Wow! You certainly captured that unsettled feeling of an unwelcome intruder, the point when something is wrong, but you’re not sure what. The haiku at the end really ties it all together, taking it from being a human feeling to another situation in another nest, genius! Loved it 😄


  8. Frank Hubeny February 27, 2018 / 3:58 pm

    It looks like someone unwelcome might be in the new apartment.


  9. Sarah Russell February 27, 2018 / 4:09 pm

    Yup. Leave real quick. Great feeling of dread in this poem, Lillian. You had me spooked just like she must have been.


  10. paul scribbles February 27, 2018 / 4:21 pm

    The confirmation of that something out of place feeling is so well penned here Lillian. Deft hand you have.


  11. kim881 February 27, 2018 / 4:25 pm

    I like the contrast between the good day at the new job, the wine, the comfort of the chair and the ‘unfamiliar items’, which jars on the reader immediately. come into view. Walking closer, she eyes them more intently. I think I would be freaked out by ‘Metal steel curved hooks on dirty elastic cords’. Your haiku sums up the unease nicely, Lill!


  12. Misky February 27, 2018 / 5:46 pm

    Glad you had the presence of mind to scoot out of there.


  13. lynn__ February 27, 2018 / 5:49 pm

    An uneasy feeling, underlying fear are relayed well in your haibun/haiku!


  14. Grace February 27, 2018 / 6:06 pm

    How scary to be in a situation like that. That haiku ending summed up the real danger!


  15. Waltermarks February 27, 2018 / 8:40 pm

    I’ve felt that way, wondering what was lost or forgotten in the journey. It kind of feels like from your haiku that it was a bird cage with birds inside. Maybe not. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who loses things in travels. I always wonder if the camera is still sitting on the roof of the car when I take off


  16. rothpoetry February 27, 2018 / 8:47 pm

    This one could have gone several ways… Boxes you did not want to dig into for various reasons. Bungie Cords are unusual for a move. Had me stumped until I read the bottom of your piece. Scary for sure to have found someone left items with your personal things. Great piece.



  17. Mary (tqhousecat) February 27, 2018 / 9:44 pm

    That must have had you feeling so uneasy. Glad you found the source.


  18. Margaret Elizabeth Bednar February 27, 2018 / 11:26 pm

    A Mother Hen – is really a compliment I think. Protector. The canine teeth was quite affective. Uneasiness and Fear.


  19. sanaarizvi February 28, 2018 / 4:28 am

    The bird image compliments the prose so beautifully!💖 It definitely feels weird knowing that someone has been inside the house without permission.

    PS: My blog is working now.. had to pay wordpress monthly bill.. sigh… 💖


  20. Gospel Isosceles February 28, 2018 / 3:36 pm

    Nervousness. The metal hooks also add an eerie sense of danger.


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