Final Scene

Sprawled on faded flaccid couch,
she snores guttural gumpfs and wheezes.

A warped pendulum creaks . . . shudders . . . stops . . .
clock face sags in disrepair.

Rodent feet in plaster-dust slippers
scurry inside flaking walls.

Spotlight dims. Floorboards creak.
Vamp sounds of decay.

Enter Death as curtain falls.

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Written for dVerse, the virtual pub for poets. It’s Quadrille Monday (a poem of 44 words – not including the title – no more; no less). Today Victoria is hosting and asks to use the word “sound.” Bar opens at 3 PM Boston time! PS:  after a wonderful month + trip that included a TransAtlantic cruise and cruises through the Norwegian Fjords, Iceland and Ireland, it’s great to be home! Enjoying my regular early morning writing and reading time again.

75 thoughts on “Final Scene

  1. Janice May 22, 2017 / 2:58 pm

    I like your form which feels like a theatre or movie script…very vivid sounds and sights… the scurrying mice with plaster-dust slippers are great.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 22, 2017 / 3:17 pm

      So glad you enjoyed, Janice. I should say, when we were first married we rented an old farmhouse and at night, you could really hear the little creatures scurrying through the walls. I was very glad to move out of that place!

      Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 22, 2017 / 3:32 pm

      Oh yes…..while in Iceland we had very very long days. Summer Solstice is coming your way! 🙂 Enjoy the light my friend…….

      Like

    • lillian May 22, 2017 / 3:19 pm

      OMG!!!! I need to be retrained after 30+ days away!!! Feeling rather ridiculous right now…and I worked so hard to pare it down. Well, shall make those extra 4 words in just a few moments….and edit the text below. Really……I need retraining!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • whippetwisdom May 22, 2017 / 3:21 pm

        No worries, it is a beautiful testimony to the wonderful and relaxing holiday you had :o) xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Grace May 22, 2017 / 3:22 pm

    Smiling & waving back ~ Hi Lillian ~ This is dark and morbid scene as very soon Death is coming ~

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 22, 2017 / 4:34 pm

      So so glad to be back with the pub! 🙂

      Like

    • lillian May 22, 2017 / 4:35 pm

      Maybe I should repost at halloween! 🙂

      Like

    • lillian May 22, 2017 / 4:36 pm

      Thank you, Paul. Somehow the word “flacid” popped into my mind with the image I was conjuring up….it’s an interesting sounding word let alone the meaning….Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the welcome back!

      Like

  3. Glenn Buttkus May 22, 2017 / 4:11 pm

    Final scene indeed. Yes the “sounds” you related & conjured were haunting & real. I, too, lived in an old farm house for a time; pack rats, cockroaches, wasp nests, and ants in the cabinets; what fun.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 22, 2017 / 4:38 pm

      Good to see you again, Glenn! Feels good to be back at the pub although our trip was outstanding. I must say, I thought of you as I was doing this….the movie or dramturgy aspect of it. Vamp sound….final curtain…

      Like

  4. Bev May 22, 2017 / 4:21 pm

    WOW! Something wicked this way comes. Surely it was a dark and stormy night … (and a rabid bat stole the other 4 words!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 22, 2017 / 4:39 pm

      Yep……but that old bat regurgitated them for me and there are now 44! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the dark side with me.

      Like

  5. kim881 May 22, 2017 / 4:39 pm

    Very dramatic and reminiscent of an old black and white horror film – with sound effects. I love it Lillian!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 22, 2017 / 4:41 pm

      Thank you Kim. Yep….and the illustration could be straight out of a black and white film like that too….there should be crows flying near. Kind of like those old spooky stories we told around the campfire or at slumber parties, holding a flashlight under our chin!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. sanaarizvi May 22, 2017 / 4:59 pm

    Vamp sounds of decay… is such a powerful image!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 6:56 am

      Hah! Just realized a double entendre meaning here….I meant to “vamp” the sounds….as in a movie direction to cue in on the sounds, make the louder. My guess is from all the comments, although I did write this from the “dark side” that some may have thought it was short for vampire?? Glad you enjoyed, Sanaa.

      Liked by 1 person

      • sanaarizvi May 23, 2017 / 10:12 am

        Ah! I thought it was something like that 😀 Cool!❤️

        Like

  7. Jericho May 22, 2017 / 5:21 pm

    What a pleasure to read aloud.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 6:57 am

      Oh, thank you so much for this comment. I always do read my poems aloud as I’m editing them. And I always read aloud everyone else’s poems too. So I really appreciate your reply here! 🙂

      Like

  8. Waltermarks May 22, 2017 / 6:24 pm

    Very rich language, I especially like the rodents in plaister dust slippers. I hope mine aren’t as well attired, lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 6:59 am

      Thank you! Glad to be back and good to see you here, Linda. I’m slipping over to read as soon as I get my coffee! Jet lagged still a bit….so up a little later today after being up several times during the night 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  9. jillys2016 May 22, 2017 / 6:36 pm

    Such a scene you have painted here, Lillian. Wonderful! & welcome home – we’ve missed you but certainly enjoyed your photos 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 7:01 am

      Hi Jilly! Good to be back and able to post and read! Jet lag still hanging on a bit….so up a few times during night and then slept in a bit. Will slip over to do my reading as soon as I get my morning elixir. It sure is nice to have connectivity and time to read dVerse again! But we did have a glorious trip! Today’s post (Tuesday) has more photos 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • jillys2016 May 23, 2017 / 3:07 pm

        Grab that coffee and share those pics! I’ve been vacationing vicariously through you and loving every minute.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Charley May 22, 2017 / 7:25 pm

    “Rodent feet in plaster-dust slippers” All of it, really. And the image as well. Nice!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 7:02 am

      We really did live in an old farm house in our early days of marriage. Rental. The hog shed was across our driveway and in the summer we had that lovely scent as well as these scurrying sounds at night! But the garden and fresh vegetables were glorious 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Charley May 23, 2017 / 5:37 pm

        Well, there you go. Doesn’t it always seem to go… Could be a song lyric lurking in there.

        Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 7:02 am

      “Creepy” seems to be the consensus 🙂

      Like

  11. Bodhirose May 22, 2017 / 8:11 pm

    What a wonderfully creepy final scene, Lill…well illustrated; I could hear those scampering little feet!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 7:03 am

      So good to be back. Glad you enjoyed!

      Like

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 7:04 am

      Dramatic….yes — that’s what I was aiming to do….paint the sounds and sights of a final scene. And I left it so you wonder what death looks like at the door — or is it death in all of the images? Glad you enjoyed.

      Like

  12. Cynthia May 22, 2017 / 11:04 pm

    What a truly atmospheric offering! Love the mice scurrying in plaster slippers. We renovated an old stone house and rodents are such a reality in old houses.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 7:05 am

      They sure are! We had those scurrying little scratching sounds at night in the first old farm house we rented! Glad you enjoyed, Cynthia!

      Like

  13. Adda May 23, 2017 / 12:16 am

    How sad, to die in such a dilapidating place – once again, your words took me there. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 7:07 am

      Exactly. Can’t remember the Dickens story that included Miss Havisham living in a spooky old place with spiderwebs etc…but that was the picture that popped into my head and then I extrapolated from there. The clock was actually my favorite image here……….but most everyone responded more to the plaster slippers 🙂 Guess that mice and rodents get more of a reaction.
      Always nice to read your comments, Adda. Thanks so much for following! It’s good to be back to my regular writing….although our travels were fabulous!

      Like

      • Adda May 23, 2017 / 6:05 pm

        I did like the plaster-dust slippers too 🙂 Glad you are back safe and sound.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. frankhubeny May 23, 2017 / 9:40 am

    I liked the pendulum stopping as death occurs like that old song about the grandfather’s clock.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 8:14 pm

      It was an amazing 30+ days – especially our time in Norway, Ireland and Iceland!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sascha Darlington May 23, 2017 / 8:18 pm

        Oh, wow! 30+ days, so you really got to spend some time in each place. It does sound amazing.

        Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 8:15 pm

      I did smile when I finally came up with that — was shifting words around, thinking about the flaking plaster. 🙂

      Like

    • lillian May 23, 2017 / 3:37 pm

      Ah glad you enjoyed. Many thanks!

      Like

  15. Olga May 24, 2017 / 5:25 pm

    Wow! A powerful description of the final scene. Love the sound and symbolism of the warped pendulum. Your vacation sounds heavenly. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Singledust May 27, 2017 / 4:16 pm

    the sounds when a house is settling and the creatures that come out o play – liked this one very much, reminded me of trying to fall asleep but afraid to close my eyes – lovely that you are happy to be back home to reading and writing routine, always lovely that after a holiday away

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian May 29, 2017 / 12:23 pm

      Oh I sometimes do believe that houses live and breathe! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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