Threatening clouds blew cross once blue skies.
Dark, sinister, he stood incensed.
White-knuckled fist shoved in her face,
words flew like lightning bolts.
Slut. Idiot. Whore. Landing like blows,
so in sensed by her dulled brain, they chilled her soul,
like hoar frost on some distant trampled land.
But this time, she alone knew the secret she’d hid.
Just three small steps to that small new gun.
Her shaking hand pointed as he turned his head,
and the nightmare was over.
This knight in shining armor crap,
dead.
And so she took his keys.
Rode down back roads, kicking up dust,
never looked back, only forward.
She’d find a place, somewhere,
with hope tinged clouds
in tomorrow’s dawn.
Written for Tuesday’s Poetics at dVerse, a virtual pub for poets where today I’m tending bar, asking people to write a poem with at least two homophones. Homophones: words with same sound but different spelling and different meaning. For example: two/too, and ball/bawl. Homophones in The Escape include blue/blew, incensed/in sensed, whore/hoar frost, new/knew, nightmare/knight, rode/roads. The trick in this prompt is to insure the “sense” of the poem, its flow and meaning are still the focus . The homophones need to fit in, rather than stick out boldly. Pub opens at 3 PM. Photo Credit: Linda Lucerne
Very tense and atmospheric. >
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Yes. For some reason, my brain went to the dark side on this one.
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Brilliant…sent shivers!
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Thanks – I guess shivers are good given how, for some reason, with a prompt that could be full of puns and fun, my head came up with this macabre tale.
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So intense. Part of me has to say “Good for her,” even though I can’t condone murder. But then, I’ve never been used and abused like she was. This tragic scene replicates itself way too often, but most likely without the escape.
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Domestic abuse is a very serious, and often hidden problem
This one kind of ends up like a solo version of Thelma and Louise.
I am so very thankful for my kind and loving spouse❤️
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Oh yes.. you managed to hide those homophones very well, love what you did here… it’s so fun to play with… and I admire how you managed to tell a story with all those pairs.
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I actually had to pare down some of the pairs to keep the tone intact 😊
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A crime of passion – with homophones! Intense, dark and she got away!
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That’s the good thing about being the writer, right? We can write the ending! 😊
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I wonder whether some different dark clouds will follow her, or will the skies be clear blue?
Dark poem, but beautifully written.
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Oh I hope she has a new life. In fact, since I made her up, let it be so!😊
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Fantastic. Visceral stuff.
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Thanks much! It was quite the tale to write, trying to get it right so readers didn’t smile at the pairs; rather went with the horror of the situation. Sometimes I wonder where this stuff comes from when I see what I’ve written!😳
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A terrific poem on the eve of your journey; as stated, you hid the homophones expertly–I loved the dark tale, wagging my tail when fooled by the hidden pairs. Conversely, wrote 16 verses dripping with levity & sarcasm.
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So glad you enjoyed. And I LOVED your take on this one! So wish I could send you a pic of the painting I mentioned in my reply to you. It’s a smiler😊
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This is absolutely chilling both in words and image. Brilliant write 🙂
Lots of love,
Sanaa
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Many thanks!
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This rocked me to the core Lillian. Great use of words to set a story in motion all the way to the dust trail.
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So very glad you enjoyed. I “cheated” and listed the homophones in my explanation at the end. I adored hunting through yours, uncovering them with the second and third read.
hmmmm me thinks you are a geologist, rocked to the core, and spelunking for homophones? 🙂
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As long as I pull up a carat instead of a carrot.
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Oh, this is a sad tale, on all accounts, but I’m happy she got away. Very intense!
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Me too. That’s the good thing about being the creator of a character — you have the ability to determine the outcomes. 🙂
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A disturbing[ly real] poem but powerfully written. *shudder* Thanks for the prompt!
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Yes. I went to the dark side with this one. Glad you liked the prompt. 🙂
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Deliciously dark, with well-tucked in homophones!
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nice use of homophones, a good read 🙂
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find a place, somewhere,
with hope tinged clouds
in tomorrow’s dawn.
There is always that flicker of hope inherent in the lives of good people. Just a matter of time. Very much so Lillian!
Hank
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nice use of homophones….a tensed feel here…
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There are times in life when it comes to this for some. A very deeply disturbing but realistic write for the way it happens too many times. You have captured a moment so tense and so real you can feel its’ essence.
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Hard to hit the “like” button here…..and yes. This is far to real for far too many. Thank you, Renee, for your thoughtful comment here. Very much appreciated.
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