Let Go, My Love

Talk to me not of death and fear
as time stands by and waits for me.
For I must leave you now my dear
these last few steps for me alone.

So as I lie with sleep so near,
harken my dear and you shall hear
celestial song and angels’ wings,
their comfort meant for you they sing.

Let go your hand, let go your tears
and tell me please that I may pass.
Take comfort in our childrens’ care
our love lives on, embodied there.

gceojLKoi

Written for dVerse, Victoria minding the bar, asking us to write in meter, creating a particular mood. Very new to me — meter = stressed syllables. Trying to achieve meter without sacrificing the sense and flow of the words. I’ll be honest. I find this very taxing and difficult. But — I’m happy with how this turned out, and I think it’s in trochaic tetrameter: 4 stressed syllables in an 8 syllable line. Always learning with dVerse!

42 thoughts on “Let Go, My Love

    • lillian June 16, 2016 / 6:05 pm

      Lill here — Victoria is minding the bar. But I’m glad you liked my poem! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • ladyleemanila June 17, 2016 / 1:05 am

        ooops sorry, Lil. It was late last night, got all mixed up. I still like your poem, cheers 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 16, 2016 / 6:06 pm

      Oh good — worked so hard to get that “roses are red, violets are blue” sing-songy rhythm out. Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. So REALLY appreciate your comment here! And I guess it means that it is indeed tetrameter 🙂

      Like

  1. Victoria C. Slotto June 16, 2016 / 3:57 pm

    Ah, geez, Lillian. This is a 3-tissue one. How well the tetrameter (perfect) worked to create the sadness of this touching poem that really oozes acceptance. I loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 16, 2016 / 6:08 pm

      Thank you! Coming from the meter maid, I’ll take the compliment and run with it!!! 🙂 So glad it finally worked.

      Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 16, 2016 / 6:08 pm

      Oh you are so kind…..truly appreciate your words here! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. AnnMarie Roselli-Kissack June 16, 2016 / 4:29 pm

    Lillian,
    since my folks and Keith’s mom moved close or “closer”;) I find myself thinking about the moment we all contemplate–passing on. this moment, this we do alone regardless of how many family members are present in the room when we take our final breaths –
    your words place such delicate beauty on this final life passage
    lending courage, offering peace
    beautiful and perfect, my friend
    am:)
    and once again, am I learning the many facets to poetic timing – who knew 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 16, 2016 / 6:09 pm

      Thank you AM. So love to see your words and connect with you here. So glad you felt the mood of this — thank you thank you thank you.

      Like

  3. Grace June 16, 2016 / 5:24 pm

    I am reading it aloud and I like the cadence Lillian ! The moving part for me was:

    Let go your hand, let go your tears

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 16, 2016 / 6:10 pm

      Thank you so much, Grace. This was a real struggle so very very heartrending to see your words here! 🙂

      Like

    • lillian June 16, 2016 / 6:11 pm

      “Parting is such sweet sorrow”…..you sound like the bard here! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed.

      Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 16, 2016 / 6:11 pm

      Thank you thank you thank you, Sanaa. A really hard one to write and rewrite and rewrite again. Your compliment is so very appreciated! Smiling I am. 🙂

      Like

  4. Walt Wojtanik June 16, 2016 / 7:00 pm

    The mood envelopes you deeply and camouflages the meter so well. I think this works so well, Lillian; such beauty in its simplicity!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 16, 2016 / 7:44 pm

      Ah Walt, thank you! Smiling I am.

      Like

  5. Bodhirose June 16, 2016 / 11:19 pm

    Oh how beautiful, Lillian. It’s heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 17, 2016 / 7:34 am

      Thank you so much. Tipping my morning cup to you…..

      Like

    • lillian June 17, 2016 / 7:37 am

      thank you thank you thank you! I was happy with how it turned out finally. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 17, 2016 / 7:38 am

      Thank you so much, Rose. Truly appreciate your kind words.

      Like

  6. kim881 June 17, 2016 / 9:11 am

    Beautiful and it feels like tetrameter with the brake on – how did you manage to slow it down like that? maybe its the weight of the words!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 17, 2016 / 3:01 pm

      Truly, I just counted on my fingers, typed the stressed syllables in bold, and read aloud many times 🙂 So glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Raivenne June 17, 2016 / 2:21 pm

    Lillian, I read this last night and nearly lost it. We buried out 92 year old Brooks last week. In the days previous she told us she was done, she was letting go and she did. This was beautifully done and I had to come back and let you know just how well you captured this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 17, 2016 / 3:04 pm

      Oh my…..your words are so heartfelt here. I was beside my mother as she slipped away. I so remember leaning into her ear and telling her it was okay to go….Thank you for your words here.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. whimsygizmo June 17, 2016 / 3:01 pm

    Lill, I think this fits the bill quite perfectly, with the meter joining the language in the nature of letting go.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 17, 2016 / 3:05 pm

      Thank you. My first attempt at meter — and I read lots about it before I decided to give it a try. So happy I did. That’s the way with dVerse — always learning from the prompts and from the reading too! 🙂

      Like

  9. Kathy Reed June 17, 2016 / 10:31 pm

    For a moment I thought I was reading Emily Dickenson 😉 The idea of letting go said by the one passing is poignant, and with your meter, even more so.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 18, 2016 / 8:31 am

      Thank you, Kathy. What a lovely compliment!! Smiling I am.

      Like

  10. Bekkie Sanchez June 18, 2016 / 11:40 am

    I just posted a poem “Steps” that this reminds me of. We both had the same thoughts when writing them. This has a certain sadness to it that conveys hope in that sadness. Wonderful! You did a nice job with the meter.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. jillys2016 June 18, 2016 / 4:01 pm

    I read your peom 2 days ago and just as I lifted my hands to the keybaord, the phone rang. Finally, I am back to my reading! The real beauty of meter is being able to convey a mood without the reader noticing what the form/meter are. It’s like entering a lovely room and then not remembering the color of the walls, but knowing you loved the room. That is what you did with this marvelous poem, Lillian!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 19, 2016 / 6:55 am

      Thank you, Jilly. Your words are truly appreciated here!

      Like

  12. Bryan Ens June 20, 2016 / 8:26 am

    Really love that last stanza…the reminder that even though the speaker might be gone soon, his (her?) love remains through their children.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s