Emptiness Beside Me – cherished series, opus 6

photo 1

We looked like that.

Proud nine year old, awkward
holding three month me, a treasure
until five years later
pest to your teenage hormones.

You, proud new daddy
me, awkward gawky sister,
new aunt in braces
and lollipop bra.

You, my tuxedo handsome usher
black shiny shoes on white sheeted aisle.
Me, excited oh-so-young bride
barely noticed your proud eyes and smile.

You, father of five
tee ball games and packed full car.
Held your newborn niece,
gentleness on your face.

No photos last time
you so cold and me so flushed.
In front of multitudes
you absolutely still, I wept you.

Pictures stopped. Not you with me,
no you with anyone.
Not in anger, joy or silliness,
just stopped.

Death’s reality lives
in happy photo albums.
Same people, changed by age,
with no you.

photo 2-2 photo 1-2

My brother, nine years older than me. Lost suddenly, too soon at 51.
“Not to worry” he’d say on the phone. Love these pictures. Love his family.

16 thoughts on “Emptiness Beside Me – cherished series, opus 6

  1. mincs1 June 1, 2015 / 1:50 am

    Lillian, I was not able to open your photos (crazy how technology is not always perfect!) but your words are so beautiful and heartfelt. I feel like I can see the moments you have chosen to share and I can feel the wonderful relationship you had with your brother. This is really touching.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 1, 2015 / 1:56 am

      I’m so sorry you can’t see the photos – but am glad to know you could feel my connection to my brother through my words. I’m a bit concerned about the photos – hope others can see them? Thank you so much for your kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 1, 2015 / 2:09 am

      Can you please look again, now? I’ve just replaced them and updated the post. Hopefully, that does the trick?
      MANY thanks in advance!!


      • mincs1 June 2, 2015 / 3:39 am

        It worked! The photos are awesome 🙂 I especially like the first one. Thanks for letting me know that you updated the post 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. zdunno03 June 1, 2015 / 1:58 am

    I, too, could not see the photos but the poem is a loving tribute to your brother.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 1, 2015 / 2:10 am

      oh dear…..I just replaced them in the post. Would you mind just looking again to see if you can see them now? And thank you so much for the kind words!


    • lillian June 1, 2015 / 2:22 am

      Great!! Many thanks for your help. Have no idea why they didn’t get embedded the first time. So now you have a new line for your resume: Blog Technician 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. mmrli June 1, 2015 / 11:08 am

    That was so beautiful! Reminds me how quickly time passes and to cherish each moment. I will think of this as I walk my kids to school today because one day I won’t have to and I will miss it. Thank you for reminding me of this.


    • lillian June 1, 2015 / 11:57 am

      Thanks so much for the kind words this morning. Yes, we are all reminded, and sometimes harshly, to appreciate every day. My Cherished series has me digging deep….which is a good thing. As that old saying goes, most of us have our children actually IN our lives for such a very short time. For me, watching my two now 39 and 40, as parents themselves is truly a joy!
      Have a wonderful day!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. AnnMarie Roselli-Kissack June 1, 2015 / 11:20 am

    I have 5 other sisters and brothers. I’m blessed to have them still all in my life – and by all appearances – healthy so far.
    This is such a beautiful and humbling tribute to a sibling. I’m so very sorry you lost your brother at the tender age of 52. I’m sorry to know his children and wife experienced such sadness.
    You have manged to bring tears of joy and sorrow with this piece of writing – it is gorgeous and poignant.
    Have a lovely Monday

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 1, 2015 / 11:53 am

      Thanks AnnMarie. Really appreciate the kind words. My cherished series really digs deep for me. I think that’s part of the joy or writing — recollection, reflection, and appreciation. The ability to see things sometimes in a new way — or to appreciate and remember. Then of course, there’s the discovery of the fun, the unusual, and the “building” with words too. And, the making of friends over this thing called cyberspace! 🙂
      Gray Monday here — will light my candles this morning — a soft way of illumination usually only done for me in winter….

      Liked by 1 person

      • AnnMarie Roselli-Kissack June 1, 2015 / 5:57 pm

        You’re welcome, Lillian.
        When I work, even if the sun is shining, my candles are burning. The little, lively flame keeps me company 🙂
        Gray day here as well.


  5. Lane P. June 9, 2015 / 3:23 am

    In that picture with the book I can really see Rande’s resemblance to Grandpa! And the graduation one looks like my mom. What a lovely poem; I wish I had been able to meet him!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lillian June 9, 2015 / 3:30 am

      So glad you liked it. He was a special special guy! I miss him.
      Hope you’ll meander around the site a bit….would be interesting to see what you think. 🙂


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