Tanka with polytoton

lillian

Shadowed moon flickers
on windblown cornstalk stubble.
Red fox stalks its prey,
hunting through snow covered field.
Hunter in wool cap takes aim.

fox-4101341_1920

Frank hosts dVerse tonight, the virtual pub for poets. We are to consider the polytoton: rhetorical repetition of words within a poem, but each time used in a different way (cornstalk and stalks; hunting and hunter).  
I’ve used the Tanka form: 5 line poem with 5, 7, 5, 7,  and 7 syllables.
Pub opens at 3 PM Boston time. Come join us! Image from Pixabay.com

33 thoughts on “Tanka with polytoton”

  2. lifelessons October 24, 2019 / 5:27 pm

    Certainly one of the most beautiful of animals. Oh that the hunter had been left out of this one.

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    • lillian November 5, 2019 / 11:52 am

      I do so agree….but that last line seemed to just appear.

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      • lifelessons November 5, 2019 / 2:04 pm

        It made the poem, of course. It appeared out of nowhere to completely alter the scene, as did the hunter.

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  3. Glenn A. Buttkus October 24, 2019 / 6:58 pm

    You do a lot with the confines of a tidy tanka; two polyptotons as well. Any poem with foxes or crows thrills me.

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  5. Frank Hubeny October 24, 2019 / 7:21 pm

    I like the repeated use of “stalk” in your description of those two hunters in that field.

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    • lillian November 5, 2019 / 11:55 am

      Ah….many many years ago when we lived in the country, the surrounding fields were covered with left-over corn stalks, sticking up in the first small dustings of snow, somehow missed by the combines in harvest time.

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  7. Candace October 24, 2019 / 8:08 pm

    bravo! I love how the polytoton are so subtle – very effective.
    I just smack you in the face with mine. 😅

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    • lillian November 5, 2019 / 11:56 am

      Thank you, Candace. We’ve been gone to visit son and grandkids for about 5 days so I am slow to the reading 😦

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  8. Beverly Crawford October 24, 2019 / 8:24 pm

    I like the stalking in the stalks. Masters the challenge well.

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  9. little learner October 25, 2019 / 1:53 am

    A beautiful tanka. I was so taken with your imagery I forgot all about the polytoton prompt and read the poem several times letting it wash over me.

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    • lillian November 5, 2019 / 11:57 am

      Oh, what a wonderful comment to read this morning. We’ve just returned from about a 6 day trip to visit son and family….so just now catching up.

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  10. Rob Kistner October 25, 2019 / 5:55 am

    Interestingi approach to the polyptoton here Lillian — I enjoyed this, 🙂 gorgeous photo of red fox! 🙂

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  11. kim881 October 25, 2019 / 6:22 am

    Well done, Lill, for your poloptoton tanka. You’ve packed so much into five lines. Such a sad ending, though.

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    • lillian November 5, 2019 / 11:59 am

      I agree….that hunter in wool cap just suddenly appeared in the last line 😦 We have just returned from a 6 day trip to son’s (three grandkids to enjoy plus one large labradoodle named Percy! — so am afraid I am very far behind. Will post today and start anew with my reading and replies. Apologies!

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    • lillian November 5, 2019 / 12:00 pm

      Thank you, Christine! Just returned from 6 day trip to see son and family and trying desperately to catch up! 😦

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  14. memadtwo October 25, 2019 / 8:51 pm

    You’ve painted a vivid scene–right in the stillness before. (K)

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    • lillian November 5, 2019 / 12:01 pm

      Yep! I hope the fox sees the wool cap!

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