I sit to gather thoughts and write.
Like quickening ripples in windswept pool
ideas hurtle, thrash and roil in spite.
My mind consumed, your muse too cruel.
Like quickening ripples in windswept pool
your face appears in waves to take control.
My mind consumed. Your muse too cruel,
like fists that pummel a dying soul.
Your face appears in waves. To take control,
eyes wide, I gather strength. My voice attacks
like fists that pummel a dying soul.
You shall not rule as I defy all impacts.
Eyes wide, I gather strength. My voice attacks
ideas. Hurtle, thrash and roil in spite.
You shall not rule. As I defy all impacts,
I sit to gather thoughts and write.
Gina hosts MTB Thursday at dVerse, the virtual pub for poets. Today we are exploring a particular form of poetry called a pantoum. It’s made up of quatrains (4 line stanzas). BUT, they have to be in this pattern:
A (has to end rhyme with C)
B (has to end rhyme with D)
C
D
B (Exact same line as B in first stanza; and has to end rhyme with D)
E (has to end rhyme with F)
D (Exact same line as D in first stanza)
F
E (Exact same line as E in second stanza)
G (has to rhyme with H)
F (Exact same line as F in second stanza)
H
G (Exact same line as G in third stanza)
C (Exact same line as C in first stanza)
H (Exact same line as H in third stanza)
A (Exact same line as A in first stanza)
Hah! Did you follow that? And now you know why I titlee this post Pantoum Sudoku!
I must say this is an excellent example how a pantoum can be written; love some poetics about writing. The classic form is impeccable, yet does not override the message. Read aloud it sparks to life as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Glenn! I always struggle and write and rewrite and … yep, I end up reading aloud a lot when dealing with forms. This one I had to check and double check so many times. A sudoku for sure! Glad you enjoyed! Your comment made my day!
LikeLike
Yeah, what Glenn said!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Maggie!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice line: “My mind consumed, your muse too cruel.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Frank.
LikeLike
excellent Lillian! you win this game and triumph over form and rhyme, a fine example of how the pantoum can be contorted yet kept to a seamless flow of thought, it does not derail. your punctuation is creative and addictive when read out loud!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Gina. Trust me…it was indeed a sudoku for me. I read and reread and read aloud and tinkered. It’s an amazing form to work with! Thanks for the prompt and the easy to follow diagrammatic instructions. I literally wrote those letters in my notebook, as I’ve written them in my note after the photo, to be sure I was doing it! Glad you enjoyed!
LikeLiked by 2 people
i did the same so not to mess it up, we both love free verse and it can seem stifling but on completion reads so effortless. the skill with words is in yours Lillian, well done.
LikeLike
Oh the battles we have with the muse! I love this! You should frame it and place it in front of you as you sit to write.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah…like framing a completed-correctly sudoku! 🙂
LikeLike
This was excellent Lillian! You and I had similar takes on this pantoum thing… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Rob. So glad you enjoyed!
LikeLike
Nicely done, Lillian. This made me chuckle. I think we’ve all battled the muse. 🙂
I also have made lists of letters or numbers for poetic forms–though I’d never (for myself) call it Sudoku because that’s numbers, and we don’t get along. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Merril. Glad you enjoyed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I forgot to add that I really liked the change in punctuation!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bravo! And thank you for a chart to find my way through this form.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! And you’re welcome. The chart really helped me. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting where our minds take us when we pick up our pens…….I smiled at the Pantoum Saduko! LOL.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So many of the forms are poetic soduko to me. I’m a free verse kind of gal 🙂
LikeLike
It seems complicated at first, but after awhile it all makes sense and forms a circle. You’ve nailed the truth and struggle of beginning any new form I think. (K)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes indeed! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am awestruck by your enjambment. It looks effortless, like you just sprinkled pixie dust over the page, but I bet there was a LOT of hard work went into this. It sparkles.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sarah. Confession — I just learned the meaning of enjambment a few weeks ago…came in handy in this form! 🙂
LikeLike
This flowed smoothly all the way through. “My mind consumed, your muse too cruel.” Love that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! so glad you you enjoyed.
LikeLike
oh the war we fight to keep the pen from inking! it is so interesting that we write about writing in our pantoum! 🙂 Love this, Lill! We won!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah yes…..sometimes the muse deserts us….or is taken over by an evil muse – which is the case in this poem.
LikeLiked by 1 person
uuugh. still. muse is muse. 🙂
LikeLike
I love the struggle with trying to write and the muse. Yes, indeed a sudoku and I had to do a lot of double takes as I had tried to follow the form with the rhyme scheme and think I put the wrong letters in! A challenging form but I love the repetitions which just flow but are edgy and you make it look effortless! You certainly tackle this with a hurtle, thrash and roil!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my yes….I hurtled and thrashed a lot to get this to turn out! Glad you enjoyed 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m still struggling on mine after Gina suggested I needed the rhyme scheme too! Today I feel thrashed!
LikeLike
My comment isn’t showing for some reason, Lill. I read your sudoku Pantoum and everything kind of fell into place, so I’ve used yours as a template to improve mine! Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my….well thank you, Kim. I just had to make the chart (which I’ve put in the comments after the poem) and then it worked out a bit easier….definitely not easily, but a bit easier! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like it how you played with punctuation. Mine just burst out in more or less one piece. Also, I wasn’t aware of all the necessary rhymes. Ah well, next time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah….in regard to the rhyming…remember that we were told there is an imperfect pantoum. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was an imperfect sonnet form? The iambic pentameter and accents and non accents always does me in with the sonnet. Perhaps you and I should create an Imperfect Sonnet form? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hihi, I like the idea! Something like sonnet but completely different? 😉 However, I have written a few sonnets and it’s exactly the rigid form that draws me to it…
LikeLiked by 1 person