Once,
I wished
on a star.
Another time
a four leaf clover.
Eyes squeezed shut, breath held tight
twenty-one birthday candles
blown out from one huge sucked in puff.
But I’ve come to learn as I grow old,
it’s not in the wishing that dreams come true.
Written for dVerse Poet’s Pub. Today, Victoria asks us to write an etheree, shaped by syllabic lines from 1 to 10. First line 1 syllable, second line 2 syllables, third line 3 syllables etc. up to the tenth line of 10 syllables. Quite fun to do!
lillian the home poet 
Nice rocking of the prompt, L. This was a fun adventure. I used to hate counting syllables, but thanks to dVerse, now it’s second nature.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve never minded syllables — it was the rhyming I didn’t do and when I did it was “blue” with “true” with “you” until dVerse. Found out about the rhyming dictionary online and all the forms…Now I enjoy the challenge. Glad you enjoyed this one!
LikeLike
Do you use the subtle B-Rhymes dictionary – http://www.b-rhymes.com/ ? It adds interest to the blue/true of Rhymezone..
I love your joyful etheree, specially the line: blown out from one huge sucked in puff.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Viv: I just bookmarked B-Rhymes —- many thanks! 🙂 I was using something else — this looks great.
LikeLike
Oh no… I do believe in luck… just wait never wish.. you will just get disappointed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, wishing is the romantic thing to do and I’m all for romance and hocus locus — just not as a determining factor! 🙂
LikeLike
So very true. Wishing has to be accompanied by action….and a touch of luck as well. Smiles!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. Being in the right place at the right time also helps 🙂
LikeLike
There’s a bit of a similarity in our poems today, Lillian…those dreams that demand our response. Love the image, too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Will get to some reading soon….just back from a long walk on the Rose Kennedy Greenway.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If I tried walking today, I’d end up in Utah. So very windy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
Lovely work on the etheree form Lillian ❤ and yes our dreams are fulfilled when we chase them 😉 Beautifully executed (as always)
Lots of love,
Sanaa
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, we do need to run a bit to catch them! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed.
LikeLike
No harm in a bit of wishing as long as you know that dreams are just that – dreams.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true — we had a saying with our children: “you make your own luck” —
LikeLike
That’s the joy of a wish – you never know if it will come true! maybe that falling star will be the one…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah I love the romantic notion of wishing upon a star — and dreams come true, sometimes with a little help from our determination!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t mind wishing…nothing wrong with doing this but if you want to get it, you must act on it ~ Love the form Lillian ~
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! 🙂 Interesting the thoughts folks have on wishing and dreaming….
LikeLike
Wise words but still wishing gives a certain type of hope.
Anna :o]
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am always for wishing and hoping 🙂 I think many an invention was made on a dream.
LikeLike
Love the wisdom in this, Lillian! Wishing is usurped by the living!
LikeLike
Indeed! 🙂
LikeLike
I am beginning to learn this lesson as well. Lovely poem.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad you enjoyed. I must admit, I still enjoy wishing on the first start I see … wishes are dreams waiting to come true — and we just usually need to push a bit! 🙂
LikeLike
I believe in a bit of luck, but sometimes you have to chase those dreams..put on the running shoes and go…this form is going to be fun to read tonight.
LikeLiked by 1 person
…one foot in front of the other….go for it! 🙂
LikeLike
Very nice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad you enjoyed 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
wishing can be the start of a fantastic journey
this is a fantastic Etheree 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wishing names the dream — the doing claims it. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The big, bad huffing and puffing of youth contrasts so well in the culmination of your delightful poem!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Jilly. Out of town this weekend and till Tuesday…so just getting to respond and will get some reading done today. Family reunion here — not so much time for my poetry writing or reading — back i full swing on Wednesday.
LikeLike
I do believe that what we end up with can sometimes begin with a dream. A nice way to set your intention before you bring it into fruition. And I’m wondering, did any of the dreams of that 21 year old come true? 😉 Lovely, Lillian!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re exactly right….the dreams starts in the wishing, the intention. Think of all those patents that started like this — from a dreamer! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed.
LikeLike
This piece has such a gentle wisdom in it. Everything about it is quiet; subtle. The melancholy just leaking in at the edges, held at bay by the determined hopefulness of the final line. Without actually -naming- any colors, the poem is full of them. The glitter of the stars, the fresh green clover, the candles, like the stars, shining, but with an earthier, more familial warmth…
I also loved the photo. Thanks for this lovely post 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a wonderful reply….many many thanks! So very glad you enjoyed!
LikeLike
I enjoyed the concentration and having to find and replace words without losing one’s theme’s focus. Was previously too intimidated to do MTB but am learning a lot though it. I should tell this to Victoria too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
glad you enjoyed!
LikeLike
Wow, isn’t that the truth! Wise words, Lillian. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Start with a wish………comes true with helping it along bit! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed.
LikeLike
SMiLes.. iN thE beGinNinG
A FrUiT.. aN APPle tHen
aN ioN FoR
FruiTioN
chiLd oF
VicTorY
iN juST
DoiN’
iT
iN
Nike
FasHioN…;)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah Katie….I always enjoy your replies! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
SMiLes..:)!!
LikeLike
So simple. So deep. Well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Many thanks, Charley. Happy you liked it!
LikeLike
Succinct wisdom, with a touch of sweet nostalgia.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you enjoyed it, Rosemary. A fun prompt!
LikeLike
If only it were just in the wishing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is’t that the truth! Like finding the genie in a bottle 🙂
LikeLike